Who said bald people can't have a bad hair day

OMG what a crazy hair day. Obviously I wasn't having stylin' issues. It was much, much worse. It all started out okay. I went to the mall so I put on a hat. I hate wearing hats but it is a necessary evil. Anyway, while walking through the mall my scalp started to itch. I poked a finger up attempting a gracious scratch. Then a second finger, a hand and then all grace aside I pull it off and double paw at my head with the same intensity that the dogs use to dig holes in the yard. As I scratch my head the stubble falls out...in my eyes, under my nails and in my sticky lipgloss. When I get to the car and touch my head It feels like it is being eaten alive by fire ants. Every piece of stubble had a direct connection to every pain nerve in my body. I pulled in to Wal-Mart and picked up Duct tape and wax strips. I went to my mom's and pulled every electric piece of stubble out of my head. I tried the Duct tape first and yes it worked...not enough to get me on the Red Green Show so I pulled out the big guns. I had two spots on my head that I knew would require a bit more tug. I applied the wax strip to my head and gently pulled and voila, the entire strip was covered. No pain...remember these hairs are only hanging on like a second graders baby tooth. I successfully pulled out 95% of the hair without any problem at all. Those 95% were the painful hairs, the horrible wasp stingers that threatened to sting forever. The remaining 5% were clinging for dear life. Mostly it was the hair along my hair line that ran from ear to ear that was content to stay attached. Those hairs required a LOT of wax strips. It now hurts to lie down now or wear anything on my head. It hurts. Not like having a shards of glass stuck in my scalp. It is more like I-just-ripped-my-hair-out-by-the-roots-and-took-some-skin-with-it hurts. So I am now completely bald like Mr. Clean. No more patchy, itchy, painful stubble. The big question I have to ask now is 'How do I tan my scalp during the winter?'

Cheers

Jeannie