Yesterday, Chris and I finished putting the treadmill together. Now there's the test of a marriage! It's right up there with hanging wallpaper or putting up a tent together in the dark. Apparently I don't know how to use a screwdriver! He'll find out how well I can use a screwdriver one of these days!
I have a lot of weight to lose...about 30 lbs. Breast cancer patients are more prone to weight gain than other cancer patients. Well the ones that don't throw up constantly or have chronic diarrhea. I put on a bit more than the average patient though. Being overweight prior to chemo I have compound weight to lose. In the end however, eating made me feel better and helped combat the nausea. It was well earned.
I emphasize that listening to your body and taking care of it is very important. Losing weight to look good is one incentive. Primarily I would like to be able to pull off yoga poses without having to redistribute my fat from side to side. I also have to lose my ass vagina...you know what I mean by ass vagina. If not, look it up on the Net. Carrying around this weight isn't good either. Pack groceries in a bag that equals the desired weight you want to lose and run up and down the stairs. See how heavy that is....it's tough. I will probably stroke out or have a heart attack if I try running up the stairs without the groceries. So it's actually an assumption. My ass vagina, however is very real.
I have surgery in one week. My goal is to lose 3 lbs between now and then. I am going to add a new page to this Blog to record the weight loss challenge as soon as I learn how to do it.
Well I am off for now. Don't forget to BOOK and KEEP your mammogram appointments. Gigantic hugs and healthy vibes to all my friends who have done so. I am very proud of you! Spread the word. It's bad enough we get breast cancer. Let's catch it early and to do that get screened!
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. Oh yea, the secret to weight loss is to eat fewer calories than you burn. Who knew, pfff!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Still a long way from a ponytail...
My hair is coming back. Its about day 18 of my last chemo cycle. The hair on my legs is really soft and thin. It is also quite fair so I think I will leave it until it gets long enough to hang out from the bottom of my pants or I go on vacation, whichever comes first. I have nothing under my arms yet - thank you Jesus! I have hair on my head, well stubble on my head. It was getting stuck in my yoga mat today. It felt very similar to the Epilady. That inhumane tool that was out in the 90s that pulled your hair out by the roots. It will be nice to have hair again...except for the washing it and getting hair cuts. I hope it grows back thinner and less course than it naturally is. I also hope it isn't curly. I love curls but not on me. My unmentionable part has a wee bit of hair too. I have no beard or mustache yet.
My energy level has nearly returned to normal. I need to force myself to do a bit more than I'm actually willing to do but that's because I'm lazy. It has nothing to do with side effects. It was suggested by Dr. K. that my overies were probably affected by the chemo. I have a tough time staying asleep and I have hot flashes and night sweats. Early menopause is not uncommon after treatment. Other than that I think I'm almost back to normal.
Speaking of normal, what's normal (thank you Karen B. for your message on this)? My per-diagnosis normal is vastly different than what this normal will be. Some of you know this but I don't believe I Blogged about it.
In late Spring of last year I took a good look at myself and decided that as a 40 year old woman I still had a long time left to live. I was overweight, hardly exercising and drinking way too much beer. I started hiking and walking more, I stopped drinking, hired a personal trainer and nutritionist. Together we worked hard at breaking my bad habits and developing a new life style. I was feeling pretty darn good but having a very hard time keeping my sugar from dropping very, very low. I spent a lot of time recording everything I did and believed that there was nothing going on in my body that I wasn't aware of. Pretty ironic eh. Here I believed I was hitting the healthiest point in my life. Again, a reminder that you can feel awesome or you can feel really crappy. Either way you can have dirty little cancer cells growing in your boobies. Get a mammogram.
On an entirely different note,I need to say is this: I am not special, except I am my mothers favorite child. The publicity about my Blog isn't because I have anything spectacular to say. It's because I am totally ordinary. I am just like you, well maybe a bit better and obviously WAY more popular, but just Jeannie. Jeannie with breast cancer who by a fluke had a mammogram. I underreact to everything so I know that my lack of fear is perhaps a bit stronger than the average bear's would be. And God knows that I know that cancer is serious and lots of wonderful people, and some assholes, die of it every day. My father died of kidney cancer when he was 49 so I understand the threat of the disease. What I am saying is that MY CANCER, not yours, or yours, or yours isn't serious. This is my venue to voice my thoughts and opinions about MY CANCER and MY TREATMENT. Never for one minute would I dismiss anyone else's diagnosis glibly. I was so lucky I was literally shitting out four leaf clovers. MY CANCER was caught very early. My tumor was small. Blah, blah, blah...
Anyway, keep commenting and sharing your stories with me. I love reading them. My e-mail address is jeanniekfraser@gmail.com if you prefer to write privately. I suppose some people don't want to discuss their pubic hair growth on my Blog. I understand that. I'm shy too ;o)
Lastly, I would like to apologize to anyone who had to tolerate my 'impromtu breast cancer information session' Saturday evening. I probably should have refrained from that extra glass or two of beer.
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. To read the CB Post article click HERE
My energy level has nearly returned to normal. I need to force myself to do a bit more than I'm actually willing to do but that's because I'm lazy. It has nothing to do with side effects. It was suggested by Dr. K. that my overies were probably affected by the chemo. I have a tough time staying asleep and I have hot flashes and night sweats. Early menopause is not uncommon after treatment. Other than that I think I'm almost back to normal.
Speaking of normal, what's normal (thank you Karen B. for your message on this)? My per-diagnosis normal is vastly different than what this normal will be. Some of you know this but I don't believe I Blogged about it.
In late Spring of last year I took a good look at myself and decided that as a 40 year old woman I still had a long time left to live. I was overweight, hardly exercising and drinking way too much beer. I started hiking and walking more, I stopped drinking, hired a personal trainer and nutritionist. Together we worked hard at breaking my bad habits and developing a new life style. I was feeling pretty darn good but having a very hard time keeping my sugar from dropping very, very low. I spent a lot of time recording everything I did and believed that there was nothing going on in my body that I wasn't aware of. Pretty ironic eh. Here I believed I was hitting the healthiest point in my life. Again, a reminder that you can feel awesome or you can feel really crappy. Either way you can have dirty little cancer cells growing in your boobies. Get a mammogram.
On an entirely different note,I need to say is this: I am not special, except I am my mothers favorite child. The publicity about my Blog isn't because I have anything spectacular to say. It's because I am totally ordinary. I am just like you, well maybe a bit better and obviously WAY more popular, but just Jeannie. Jeannie with breast cancer who by a fluke had a mammogram. I underreact to everything so I know that my lack of fear is perhaps a bit stronger than the average bear's would be. And God knows that I know that cancer is serious and lots of wonderful people, and some assholes, die of it every day. My father died of kidney cancer when he was 49 so I understand the threat of the disease. What I am saying is that MY CANCER, not yours, or yours, or yours isn't serious. This is my venue to voice my thoughts and opinions about MY CANCER and MY TREATMENT. Never for one minute would I dismiss anyone else's diagnosis glibly. I was so lucky I was literally shitting out four leaf clovers. MY CANCER was caught very early. My tumor was small. Blah, blah, blah...
Anyway, keep commenting and sharing your stories with me. I love reading them. My e-mail address is jeanniekfraser@gmail.com if you prefer to write privately. I suppose some people don't want to discuss their pubic hair growth on my Blog. I understand that. I'm shy too ;o)
Lastly, I would like to apologize to anyone who had to tolerate my 'impromtu breast cancer information session' Saturday evening. I probably should have refrained from that extra glass or two of beer.
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. To read the CB Post article click HERE
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Let's Get Naked
Howdy folks
After a few trips to Sobeys in the last couple of days I made a real discovery. First let me start by telling you that I went there with no make up on and I was dressed like a hobo. People who knew me and have seen me bald looked terrified by my condition. It was as if they were seeing me sick for the first time. I didn't bother mentioning that they saw me just as sick but just didn't catch on. People who should have known me didn't recognize me. The worst part was that people averted their gaze when walking by. I know I was hideous but not Regan from 'The Exorcist' hideous. It was a real eye opener for me. Since chemo started I took the time to use makeup, which I was not a big fan of previously, to disguise the cosmetic side effects of the treatment. I wasn't ashamed of being a cancer troll but for my own self confidence I found it helpful. I never heard a negative comment about my appearance. People were telling me I looked so healthy. I would tell them it was the makeup...nobody believed me. This made me think that our outsides don't always match our insides. What frightened me about this was that if people were judging themselves by their outward appearance would they take my little nudges to book a mammogram seriously. I knew, six months ago, I wouldn't have listened. So, I made a little video to show the variance of my looks from gruesome to bloody stunning...lol. Just kidding. It's actually me gussied up like Tammy Faye Baker. Then I strip down to look like I crawled out of a ditch after being left there by Hannibal Lecter. So, check it out...I called it The Naked Truth.
LET'S GET NAKED - CLICK HERE
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. Fixed it :o)
After a few trips to Sobeys in the last couple of days I made a real discovery. First let me start by telling you that I went there with no make up on and I was dressed like a hobo. People who knew me and have seen me bald looked terrified by my condition. It was as if they were seeing me sick for the first time. I didn't bother mentioning that they saw me just as sick but just didn't catch on. People who should have known me didn't recognize me. The worst part was that people averted their gaze when walking by. I know I was hideous but not Regan from 'The Exorcist' hideous. It was a real eye opener for me. Since chemo started I took the time to use makeup, which I was not a big fan of previously, to disguise the cosmetic side effects of the treatment. I wasn't ashamed of being a cancer troll but for my own self confidence I found it helpful. I never heard a negative comment about my appearance. People were telling me I looked so healthy. I would tell them it was the makeup...nobody believed me. This made me think that our outsides don't always match our insides. What frightened me about this was that if people were judging themselves by their outward appearance would they take my little nudges to book a mammogram seriously. I knew, six months ago, I wouldn't have listened. So, I made a little video to show the variance of my looks from gruesome to bloody stunning...lol. Just kidding. It's actually me gussied up like Tammy Faye Baker. Then I strip down to look like I crawled out of a ditch after being left there by Hannibal Lecter. So, check it out...I called it The Naked Truth.
LET'S GET NAKED - CLICK HERE
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. Fixed it :o)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Somebody please pull the plug
Well it's Wednesday, five days post chemo and the exhaustion is as bad as it has ever been. Yesterday was rough but today is even worse. I have a funny sensation in my chest and I'm nauseated. I managed to 'go' to the toilet last night. I was just about to call in the Jaws of Life but managed all on my own. There were times I wished I was dead.
Monday morning I went to Yoga and did great. I really enjoy the serenity of Nicole's class. It felt great to behave like a non-cancer person for a change. Dont get me wrong, I go out all the time and keep up. However, it is always in the back of my mind that I need to be careful of germs or wonder when I'm going to crash. It was nice to just 'be'. I look forward to our next class.
The extreme fatigue kicked in that afternoon and hasn't let up since. At times I thought I was dying. I didn't believe that a person could be so tired. It's difficult to describe but if my bed was on fire I am not sure I would have been able to escape. I would lay there with my bladder pushing way past full and wonder how long it would take for my body to reabsorb its contents. I felt totally hard done by when I had to go to the toilet. How can life be so unfair by making me walk 20' to the bathroom. I have no idea when I last washed or brushed my teeth. Nor do I care. I am pretty sure it won't be happening today either.
So here I sit downstairs with the pups. Hannah works until 9 tonight and I don't know when Chris will be home. He abandoned me several day ago to work. I've been living off dried up fruit and left over kibble that rolled under the cupboards. I would call for take-away food for dinner but would have to open the door for the delivery guy and that's not happening either. I guess i will stick with kibble. Being deserted when you are sick is terrible. Poor me :o(
I think my surgery is February 1st. I am not 100% sure if I really took that call or dreamed it....wait, I will check the call log. Okay, so I have surgery February 1st. That's great because I can have my radiation over by the end of March. I try not to think too far ahead so I will shut up about that just in case I jinx myself.
Well I have to go. I have kibble to scrape together for my next meal. Take care of yourselves and each other. Don't worry about me. Kibble is a well balanced meal ;o)
Cheers
Jeannie
Monday morning I went to Yoga and did great. I really enjoy the serenity of Nicole's class. It felt great to behave like a non-cancer person for a change. Dont get me wrong, I go out all the time and keep up. However, it is always in the back of my mind that I need to be careful of germs or wonder when I'm going to crash. It was nice to just 'be'. I look forward to our next class.
The extreme fatigue kicked in that afternoon and hasn't let up since. At times I thought I was dying. I didn't believe that a person could be so tired. It's difficult to describe but if my bed was on fire I am not sure I would have been able to escape. I would lay there with my bladder pushing way past full and wonder how long it would take for my body to reabsorb its contents. I felt totally hard done by when I had to go to the toilet. How can life be so unfair by making me walk 20' to the bathroom. I have no idea when I last washed or brushed my teeth. Nor do I care. I am pretty sure it won't be happening today either.
So here I sit downstairs with the pups. Hannah works until 9 tonight and I don't know when Chris will be home. He abandoned me several day ago to work. I've been living off dried up fruit and left over kibble that rolled under the cupboards. I would call for take-away food for dinner but would have to open the door for the delivery guy and that's not happening either. I guess i will stick with kibble. Being deserted when you are sick is terrible. Poor me :o(
I think my surgery is February 1st. I am not 100% sure if I really took that call or dreamed it....wait, I will check the call log. Okay, so I have surgery February 1st. That's great because I can have my radiation over by the end of March. I try not to think too far ahead so I will shut up about that just in case I jinx myself.
Well I have to go. I have kibble to scrape together for my next meal. Take care of yourselves and each other. Don't worry about me. Kibble is a well balanced meal ;o)
Cheers
Jeannie
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Show Her the Money
Meet Joanna Lushman. After the devastating loss of her baby cousin from cancer her parents started participating in the Relay for Life. Although Joanna was very young her parents included her in the Relay from the very beginning. Two years ago Joanna decided to start her own fundraising. She donated $28 in pennies that year from her own piggybank. She vowed to raise twice as much the next year. However, instead of doubling the amount she raised over $3200! Joanna has her own Relay for Life team "Penny Pinchers For A Cure”. This years goal is TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
Her story is so inspirational I had to share it with you. I am including contact information for her family. Maybe you would like to spread the word and help her meet her goal. You know you hate pennies. So stick them in a jar, a pop bottle, a ziplock bag, an odd sock, a sleeping bag and get them out of your house. Give them to someone who needs, ummm, well a lot of them to make up $10 Grand. Pennies can get pretty heavy so I'm sure she wouldn't mind your paper money either.
Her parents are Alfred and Denise. Please contact them if you have money to donate. They live in Amherst.
Here is a link to view her on the CBC...watch it. Even a non-cryer like myself got a bit watery eyed.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10150152998246391&set=t.661850369&type=3
Good luck Joanna. I am so proud of you. Having angels like you out there gives hope to so many people. Today it is pennies...tomorrow it may be a cure. xoxoxox
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. If the link doesn't work you will have to cut and paste because I don't really know what I'm doing.
 |
| JOANNA LUSHMAN |
Joanna is only eight years old.
Her story is so inspirational I had to share it with you. I am including contact information for her family. Maybe you would like to spread the word and help her meet her goal. You know you hate pennies. So stick them in a jar, a pop bottle, a ziplock bag, an odd sock, a sleeping bag and get them out of your house. Give them to someone who needs, ummm, well a lot of them to make up $10 Grand. Pennies can get pretty heavy so I'm sure she wouldn't mind your paper money either.
Her parents are Alfred and Denise. Please contact them if you have money to donate. They live in Amherst.
Phone #: 902-667-4849
Here is a link to view her on the CBC...watch it. Even a non-cryer like myself got a bit watery eyed.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10150152998246391&set=t.661850369&type=3
Good luck Joanna. I am so proud of you. Having angels like you out there gives hope to so many people. Today it is pennies...tomorrow it may be a cure. xoxoxox
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. If the link doesn't work you will have to cut and paste because I don't really know what I'm doing.
Welcome to another day
Im all cuddled up watching Zumba, drinking tea and snuggling with my doggies. Again, how blessed am I? So far the nausea has stayed away and hope it never shows up. My final weigh in at chemo on Friday was 162 lbs. I gained 20 lbs since my surgery. So I have 30+ pounds to shed. I hope watching Zumba will help. Actually, it's making me sick watching it. I'm totally not ready for that yet!
On a serious note I want to emphasize that I know cancer is very serious. I have a very dear Aunt who finished her treatments for cancer in the Spring but apparently it didn't work. She was informed that the spots on her lungs are not treatable. I believe with lots of positive thoughts and prayers directed in her direction she will feel peace and comfort and perhaps even heal. Her name is Jenny and I would appreciate if everyone would add her to your prayer list.
I have a few things to add to the chemo side effect list that I forgot to add. One is a runny nose. Doesn't sound too bad does it. Remember what I said about losing all my hair...that included my nose hair. So while your nose drips gather in your nose hair and form boogers mine just drips out but only the left nostril. When I touch my nose (usually with my sleeve) as often as I do I develop a sore in my nose. It's the kind that makes your eyes water like you were peppers sprayed!
Did I mention the chemo brain yet? I forget everything. I eat lunch twice forgetting I already ate. Making tea takes forever. Normal tea routine: boil kettle, dump yesterday's tea bags out, add new ones, pour boiling water in teapot. My tea routine: fill kettle, dump yesterday's tea bags, remember I didn't turn kettle on, turn kettle on, get clean dog dishes to feed the fur babies, get milk, get skillet and put on burner to warm up, get kibble, empty dishwasher, load dirty flat wear with clean flat wear, remember tea, turn kettle on to reboil, turn off skillet because don't remember why it's on the stove ready to melt, wonder why dogs are staring at me while I eat a bowl of mini wheats. They look from me to the clean empty dishes, finish eating, put kibble in dish and sprinkle cheese over it, leave it on counter to reset kettle again, add tea bags to pot and organize tea and coffee cupboard, remember hungry canines, give them dishes of food, pour juice and take medicines, respond to the click of the kettle begging for mercy, pour water in teapot,search for top of teapot, find in dishwasher, add milk to my cup and wait for tea to steep, pup pups outside, turn on tv, have mini rest, remember I made tea and pour myself a cup. Sit down with iPad forgetting about tea until it is cold. Pour another cup.
A similar process follows involving the bed, washing machine, dryer, toilet and spare room. Everything I do takes a loooong time. Shopping, even with a list is horrible. This should begin to clear up I suppose when I'm detoxified. I can't wait to have a memory. As I sat waiting for the show to begin at JP Cormier's B-day bash last night I had no idea why I was there. I had to ask hubby. I thought I might have been waiting for a magic show to begin.
The last thing I will mention is a sore tongue. I don't get sores but my tongue is sensitive so it hurts to eat and drink. Obviously it hasn't slowed me down though.I say Thank God for this side effect. Imagine how much I would weigh if I could eat everything I wanted. I would be wearing a moo moo, typing with pencils, eating hot wings being fed to me via a conveyer belt. Small blessings indeed.
Well, it is time for a nap so I will say adieu to you, and you and you :o)
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. I don't always post my blog entries to Facebook. If you don't want to miss any of the mind blowing, riveting, titillating (lol, had to use that word)entries written by this literary genius I strongly suggest you subscribe to the site. You will get an e-mail when I update. Otherwise, you may not be able to keep up socially at the water cooler. Just saying...
On a serious note I want to emphasize that I know cancer is very serious. I have a very dear Aunt who finished her treatments for cancer in the Spring but apparently it didn't work. She was informed that the spots on her lungs are not treatable. I believe with lots of positive thoughts and prayers directed in her direction she will feel peace and comfort and perhaps even heal. Her name is Jenny and I would appreciate if everyone would add her to your prayer list.
I have a few things to add to the chemo side effect list that I forgot to add. One is a runny nose. Doesn't sound too bad does it. Remember what I said about losing all my hair...that included my nose hair. So while your nose drips gather in your nose hair and form boogers mine just drips out but only the left nostril. When I touch my nose (usually with my sleeve) as often as I do I develop a sore in my nose. It's the kind that makes your eyes water like you were peppers sprayed!
Did I mention the chemo brain yet? I forget everything. I eat lunch twice forgetting I already ate. Making tea takes forever. Normal tea routine: boil kettle, dump yesterday's tea bags out, add new ones, pour boiling water in teapot. My tea routine: fill kettle, dump yesterday's tea bags, remember I didn't turn kettle on, turn kettle on, get clean dog dishes to feed the fur babies, get milk, get skillet and put on burner to warm up, get kibble, empty dishwasher, load dirty flat wear with clean flat wear, remember tea, turn kettle on to reboil, turn off skillet because don't remember why it's on the stove ready to melt, wonder why dogs are staring at me while I eat a bowl of mini wheats. They look from me to the clean empty dishes, finish eating, put kibble in dish and sprinkle cheese over it, leave it on counter to reset kettle again, add tea bags to pot and organize tea and coffee cupboard, remember hungry canines, give them dishes of food, pour juice and take medicines, respond to the click of the kettle begging for mercy, pour water in teapot,search for top of teapot, find in dishwasher, add milk to my cup and wait for tea to steep, pup pups outside, turn on tv, have mini rest, remember I made tea and pour myself a cup. Sit down with iPad forgetting about tea until it is cold. Pour another cup.
A similar process follows involving the bed, washing machine, dryer, toilet and spare room. Everything I do takes a loooong time. Shopping, even with a list is horrible. This should begin to clear up I suppose when I'm detoxified. I can't wait to have a memory. As I sat waiting for the show to begin at JP Cormier's B-day bash last night I had no idea why I was there. I had to ask hubby. I thought I might have been waiting for a magic show to begin.
The last thing I will mention is a sore tongue. I don't get sores but my tongue is sensitive so it hurts to eat and drink. Obviously it hasn't slowed me down though.I say Thank God for this side effect. Imagine how much I would weigh if I could eat everything I wanted. I would be wearing a moo moo, typing with pencils, eating hot wings being fed to me via a conveyer belt. Small blessings indeed.
Well, it is time for a nap so I will say adieu to you, and you and you :o)
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. I don't always post my blog entries to Facebook. If you don't want to miss any of the mind blowing, riveting, titillating (lol, had to use that word)entries written by this literary genius I strongly suggest you subscribe to the site. You will get an e-mail when I update. Otherwise, you may not be able to keep up socially at the water cooler. Just saying...
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Yup, I'm a celebrity....LOL
I have to start out by saying that I don't want my friends to be intimidated by my improved social status. Yes, obviously I am better than you now but we can still be friends...secret friends but that just makes it all the more special. Remember, I am still the same girl I was Wednesday just REALLY popular. I still eat my caviar one spoonful at a time, just like the better people in the world ;o)
As most of you already know my little blog has made the front page of the Halifax Herald yesterday. I was as floored as everyone else when my husband woke me up to tell me the news. Well, not floored but very surprised because I didn't expect to see it until next week. I would like to thank Pat Lee from the Herald for taking an interest in my story and for not making me sound like a douche in the article.
I will be interviewed by Jackie Torrens from the CBC Radio at 3 pm tomorrow. The show is called 'Close to Home'. Pretty exciting eh!
Apparently the loud bang I heard from upstairs wasn't a ghost but the gigantic bottle of laundry soap which I left the cover off hitting the floor. Hannah described the spilled quantity as '8 towels worth'. I don't think she meant enough to wash 8 towels but 8 towels worth the soaking up...groan :o( now I'm going to have a big clean spot on the floor.
I want to give sincere thanks to everyone who has phoned, e-mailed, sent messages, commented on my posts or responded on Facebook. As uninteresting as my own story is I am glad to have the opportunity to spread the message that cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence. I really appreciate hearing your stories. I'm honoured that you want to share with me.
Anyway, I have a lot of soap to clean up so I better go. My final chemo is tomorrow...Yay!
Remember, We have nothing to fear but fear itself....and spiders!
Cheers
Jeannie
As most of you already know my little blog has made the front page of the Halifax Herald yesterday. I was as floored as everyone else when my husband woke me up to tell me the news. Well, not floored but very surprised because I didn't expect to see it until next week. I would like to thank Pat Lee from the Herald for taking an interest in my story and for not making me sound like a douche in the article.
I will be interviewed by Jackie Torrens from the CBC Radio at 3 pm tomorrow. The show is called 'Close to Home'. Pretty exciting eh!
Apparently the loud bang I heard from upstairs wasn't a ghost but the gigantic bottle of laundry soap which I left the cover off hitting the floor. Hannah described the spilled quantity as '8 towels worth'. I don't think she meant enough to wash 8 towels but 8 towels worth the soaking up...groan :o( now I'm going to have a big clean spot on the floor.
I want to give sincere thanks to everyone who has phoned, e-mailed, sent messages, commented on my posts or responded on Facebook. As uninteresting as my own story is I am glad to have the opportunity to spread the message that cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence. I really appreciate hearing your stories. I'm honoured that you want to share with me.
Anyway, I have a lot of soap to clean up so I better go. My final chemo is tomorrow...Yay!
Remember, We have nothing to fear but fear itself....and spiders!
Cheers
Jeannie
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Who needs a 'Bucket List' when you can have a 'F@$k It' List
Wow...2011 is over and 2012 is here. I fully expect this to be my year! Instead of making a list of resolutions or a Bucket List that I will break or never complete I have come up with my own way to start the year. I call it my 'Fu@k-it List'. This list will contain desires and commitments followed by the statement, "although this is my desire or wish if I don't get it done then fu@k it". This is my design to remove the guilt that comes with breaking resolutions. Feel free to adopt this modified tradition.
I do have to mention that the last six months, although sprinkled with some discomfort, opened my eyes to the beauty of humanity. I have met so many people who have approached me with their own stories of how breast cancer has affected their lives. Strangers hug me, others tell me I'm beautiful while others call me brave and inspirational. Although I do nothing except to live my life the best I can I no longer argue with people when they compliment me. If they say I'm beautiful then they are seeing me in a different light than I see myself. When they tell me I'm brave and inspirational why bother saying that bravery is a reaction to fear. I have no fear of this disease. I am not brave. Ask anyone who has watched me rip my clothes off because I think a spider is crawling on me. People who get on planes without taking Adivan are brave. If I inspire people it is undeliberate but it makes me feel good that I make others feel good by doing absolutely nothing. Being lazy has never been so rewarding :o)
Here is my advice,the only advice I can offer: when something difficult enters your life you have two choices on how to deal with it. You can be miserable or you can be happy. Regardless of which you choose you still have the hardship to deal with. I faced this challenge head on knowing without a single doubt in my mind that although I would have some pretty shitty (quite literally) days I was going to be fine. Knowing that has made this journey pretty easy for me. So for anyone else out there who is facing a challenge the best I can say is to keep your chin up, keep smiling and know that worrying will only contribute negatively to your situation. Stressing and worrying about your hardship or someone else's is counter productive and damaging. Meditate or pray for good only. Don't feed the negative or it will grow. Positive thinking is the magic elixir of life. Drink it.
So to all the beautiful, brave, inspirational people who have taken the time to offer me prayers and raise my spirit with their words, let me say thank you and Happy New Year. May this year be filled with the blessings of good health, the comfort of family and friends and the riches of a peaceful heart and mind.
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. My final chemo is Friday...wooo hooo!
I do have to mention that the last six months, although sprinkled with some discomfort, opened my eyes to the beauty of humanity. I have met so many people who have approached me with their own stories of how breast cancer has affected their lives. Strangers hug me, others tell me I'm beautiful while others call me brave and inspirational. Although I do nothing except to live my life the best I can I no longer argue with people when they compliment me. If they say I'm beautiful then they are seeing me in a different light than I see myself. When they tell me I'm brave and inspirational why bother saying that bravery is a reaction to fear. I have no fear of this disease. I am not brave. Ask anyone who has watched me rip my clothes off because I think a spider is crawling on me. People who get on planes without taking Adivan are brave. If I inspire people it is undeliberate but it makes me feel good that I make others feel good by doing absolutely nothing. Being lazy has never been so rewarding :o)
Here is my advice,the only advice I can offer: when something difficult enters your life you have two choices on how to deal with it. You can be miserable or you can be happy. Regardless of which you choose you still have the hardship to deal with. I faced this challenge head on knowing without a single doubt in my mind that although I would have some pretty shitty (quite literally) days I was going to be fine. Knowing that has made this journey pretty easy for me. So for anyone else out there who is facing a challenge the best I can say is to keep your chin up, keep smiling and know that worrying will only contribute negatively to your situation. Stressing and worrying about your hardship or someone else's is counter productive and damaging. Meditate or pray for good only. Don't feed the negative or it will grow. Positive thinking is the magic elixir of life. Drink it.
So to all the beautiful, brave, inspirational people who have taken the time to offer me prayers and raise my spirit with their words, let me say thank you and Happy New Year. May this year be filled with the blessings of good health, the comfort of family and friends and the riches of a peaceful heart and mind.
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. My final chemo is Friday...wooo hooo!
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