My Cup Runneth Over

Well I went for the re-sim yesterday hoping and praying the swelling in my breast was anything other than fluid...obviously not cancer but you know what I mean. Surprise, it was fluid. Although the fluid keeps my otherwise half sized mammary more like a 2/3s full one and certainly balances me out, it is keeping me from getting radiation. In addition to that, it hurts. Not in a 'slammed my hand in a car door' type of way. More like a 'caught my tit in an electric breast pump on high suction' way with a dash of 'let's just stick random needles through your unfrozen nipple' kinda way. My nipple feels like I was swimming in very cold water braless with just a t-shirt on. Or, if someone sandpapered it and then put a foldback binder clip on it. The ouchies don't last for long but are periodic and more frequent than I like. The nip discomfort never goes away. Due to the discomfort and probably because I spend waaaayyy to much time alone I find myself with my hand in my bra checking it out or cradling it. It needs the attention. I have grown quite attached to it, like a homely orphan. It makes my maternal sense tingle and at times I want to rock and breastfeed it.

So, with that I am going to try to get back to sleep. I get tapped off tomorrow and next Thursday they will attempt another simulation. I know this time there isn't 250+cc's in there but I an sure there is enough to keep me entertained for a few minutes. I am presently having fantasies of jamming a juice bag straw directly into the incision but suppose I will wait for Dr. M to do it, properly with a gigantic, almost gag-like, syringe again. Happy March 7th Day. I'm sure it's a special day somewhere. Perhaps National Pencil Day or Hug a Squirrel Day. Anyway, whatever the occasion it's garbage and recycling day here in Westmount so I'm going to celebrate that today. You can celebrate it as well...I can't curb your enthusiasm over this kind of excitement.

Cheers everyone
Jeannie

Tattoo Day

I am so very, very happy. Do you ever feel like your heart is going to blow up from being too full! Why? Specifically, I can't name it. I can't list all the reasons because there are way too many.

I had a pretty crappy time over the last few weeks. My surgery went fine but I think I broke something inside my boob a few days later and it was burning with the heat of a thousand suns when I bent over. Then Nanny fell and broke her bones and died. Of course my Mom is still very sick and might have to go back to hospital this week. However, yesterday I started to feel very happy again. I am just so filled with gratitude for all the wonderful things in my life. I said it before and I will say it again...I'm a very blessed girl!

Tomorrow, is my workup day with the radiologist. I will receive my tattoos I believe. These will be my first tattoos ever - and my last. I'm kind of excited. I can't wait to see the machine!

To all my friends who have had their mammograms recently, I pray your results are perfect. Teresa, I know you will be fine. Thinking of you!

Cheers
Jeannie