Since my diagnosis I have gained quite a bit of weight...approximately 25 lbs depending on whether or not I am being weighed on the moon or at the hospital. I have asked the good people at the hospital to start recording my weight in the British measure of the Stone because having my weight divided by 14 wouldn't sound so difficult to hear. Having the staff comment about my weight gain was a bit shameful but not enough to make me change my ways. I stepped on the WiFit and it didn't just tell me I was OBESE but also aged me as a 48 year old. There is nothing wrong with being labeled as a 48 year old woman when you are in fact a 48 year old woman or even a 58 year old woman. Mr. Wi, the ruthless bastard, told me I was an obese, unbalanced 48 year old. Now that was shameful. I expect it also thinks I smell bad and I'm ugly. He is lucky he is fun to play with or I would kick him to the curb.
My Top Ten Life Improvement Goals
1. In addition to Monday yoga and doggie hikes I am going to start walking every day except Tuesday.
2. I will eat healthy foods that grow naturally and will stop eating like a demented termite.
3. I will stop wearing my dead grandmother's Fruit of the Loom panties that came complete with her name label attached. Instead I will buy pretty ones, even if it means not getting 10 pair for $10.
4. When I lose 5 Earth pounds I will take off My Aunt Betty's elastic-waist pants and replace them with pants that have a button and a zipper...not that I don't appreciate the pants because I do.
5. I will shave my legs and stop using the excuse that it is winter and nobody is going to see them anyway.
6. I will brush my teeth at least once a day for two minutes instead of the 15 second brushings they have been receiving.
7. I will moisturizer my entire body every day and not wait for it to crack open and bleed first. I will not wait until I Velcro myself to the carpet before deciding on a pedicure.
8. I will no longer buy any product that was tested on animals, regardless of its gorgeous smell, tantalizing packaging or excruciatingly low, low price.
9. I will meditate every day.
10.I will learn one new thing every day.
So with that, as of today February 28th, 2012
I weigh 157.8 lbs
My hips are 44 inches
My waist is 34 inches
My bust is 38 inches
I am going to take weekly photos of myself which I will periodically post just to increase my level of shame giving myself a better chance of reaching my goal.
So, you have watched me on my cancer journey so hang out and watch me as I backtrack myself back to my kind of normal lifestyle. The track pants and pastries were fun but it's time to be a grown up again.
