Good afternoon everyone
Today is day 6 post surgery #2. I feel terrific. I cannot remember the last time I blogged so I apologize in advance if I'm being repetitive. Long story short this surgery was similar to my initial surgery. It was another quadrantectomy. Two quarters make a half so i guess i can say i have a halfanectomy. I removed the bandage after two full days because this time the tape was threatening to eat through my skin and into my bones. I had a blistery rash that hurt and itched. Combine that with the minor bruising pain of the tissues underneath I obviously had to remove my steri-strips yesterday. It felt so good to peel those off. I have a lot of sloshing in the breast which I noticed around day two or three. I went to see my favorite surgeon in the world, the amazing Dr. MacMullin to have the fluid drained. Naturally, I didn't want a needle in the breast so I asked if the fluid would reabsorb. It will. It will take a long time but I chose that option. I would love to have watched just to see what was in there but not enough to actually wait for the needle to touch down. So, it sounds like I have a hot water bottle in my top but that's okay by me. I aspirate a lump on my dog Casey's face every month or so. I love it. After the fluid is drained you can't see where the lump was. As I thought of that I imagined my breast deflating. I figured the fluid would keep it plumped up a bit. God knows its smaller than the other but not that uneven in my clothing. It would have looked like a little shelf otherwise; although convenient and a dream to have my own chest-shelf, I didn't think this was the time. I pulled a stitch today. It was sticking out so I gave it a tiny little tug and it came out. It made me smile.
Some of you know that my grandmother broke her hip and wrist Friday, had surgery Sunday and a very bad heart attack Monday. We didn't expect her to last an hour. However, Supernanny is blowing the minds of everyone around her in the 'Hip, hip hooray' ward. Although flatlining yesterday and left to allow nature to take its course, in a kind way of course not a negligent way, today she ate breakfast and lunch and was sitting on the side of the bed. She's not out of the woods yet but she's not going to go down without a fight. Way to go Nanny!
I would once again like to thank all the people who approach me and say the loveliest things. I really appreciate it.
I should have the results back from my surgery in less than five more days. I know they will be okay but want the proof on paper :o)
Sending out positive healing vibes to my new friend Theresa. Good luck Sister!
Cheers
Jeannie
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Patiently Waiting! **Updated**
So I had my surgery yesterday. It went very well. I didn't want to wake up in recovery so I was at the hospital a bit longer than I expected. Actually, I knew I wouldn't wake as quick as they would like so it was no surprise to me. I managed to walk to the truck with Chris and felt pretty stable. When we pulled up to the house and I got out of the truck I nearly fainted. Chris ran to my side and kept me vertical-my hero. So he tucked me in bed and I slept on and off the rest of the day and night. Other than very blurry vision I felt very good and still do.
So curiosity got the better of me and I pulled off my shirt to have a gander at my chest this morning. The bandage is massive but I know that buried underneath it all is a horizontal scar that is glued shut. No biggie. However, here is the best part. My breast is small!!!!!! I know it's all taped up and stuff but he said he was removing an additional 3 cm all around and in my mind that didn't seem to amount to much. I had to take a picture to show you the difference. I am so excited I want to run up and down Charlotte Street and show everyone. I cannot wait until tomorrow to take off the bandage and let it fall naturally into place. So let me introduce you to my new slimmed down breast. I let the left one out of the turkey trap so you could see the difference. It's pretty impressive!
By the way that is not my nipple in the top right corner of the photo. It's my finger. My nip is farther north :o)
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. I have to mention that my boob is full of fluid and when I move it can be heard sloshing around. I think it's pretty cool but I don't think Chris was as impressed. He actually accused me of scarring him for life. Go figure!
So curiosity got the better of me and I pulled off my shirt to have a gander at my chest this morning. The bandage is massive but I know that buried underneath it all is a horizontal scar that is glued shut. No biggie. However, here is the best part. My breast is small!!!!!! I know it's all taped up and stuff but he said he was removing an additional 3 cm all around and in my mind that didn't seem to amount to much. I had to take a picture to show you the difference. I am so excited I want to run up and down Charlotte Street and show everyone. I cannot wait until tomorrow to take off the bandage and let it fall naturally into place. So let me introduce you to my new slimmed down breast. I let the left one out of the turkey trap so you could see the difference. It's pretty impressive!
Cheers
Jeannie
PS. I have to mention that my boob is full of fluid and when I move it can be heard sloshing around. I think it's pretty cool but I don't think Chris was as impressed. He actually accused me of scarring him for life. Go figure!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Re-excision Day: February 1, 2012
Good morning everyone! So today is the day. I have to say I'm pretty darn excited it is here. The sooner it starts, the sooner it will be over and we can move on to radiation. This is out of character for me but I just woke and have to tell you about my dream.
DREAM: I was on a wagon journey with a Tribe of Indigenous people. My traveling partner was Shirley McLaine which was AWESOME. When the wagon stopped for the night a hut was assembled and it was entirely made of white shells. It was dome shaped. The small glowing fire inside lit up the shells and made them luminous. When I remarked on the beauty of the structure they explained that during prayer times when they called upon the spirits of their ancestors or other advising spirits, the dome shape allowed the spirits to travel the room and not get trapped in corners. They could slip out the door flap....the next bit I remember is getting up before dawn to continue our travel. Before we could leave we had to take a preventative elixir to ensure our good health. One tasted like balsam and the other tasted like berries. I expected them to be horrible but they weren't. My memory is fading already but I also remember it was a group of all women with the exception of one young man. He was uncomfortable being the only male traveler because he had to be alone more frequently. He had to sleep alone while the women slept communally. The leaders of the group, although mostly male, didn't play into this part of my dream. The young man was quite put-out and was trying to walk away from the group when I woke up. The only other bit I remember is looking at hand drawn maps of the area and fantasizing about being by the water. That was where we were headed. I will mention that I dream of water all the time....big water, not a glass of water or the bathtub. So, why did I tell you this? First, I am so damn hungry and thirsty I need to distract myself from eating and drinking. Second, I have surgery today and I can see a lot of parallels between my dream and not just the surgery but breast cancer itself. Maybe you can see them too.
So, I need to go to hospital for seven, surgery is at eight, recovery for one hour then back to day surgery for an hour. If all goes well I should be out of there by one in the afternoon. I have no procedures prior to surgery this time...no rides of shame wearing a styrofoam cup over my 'dome shaped, white, luminous-with-the-light-shining-on-it' breast. Wink, wink. Are you catching on. Mine even comes with the door flap! Isn't the mind totally extraordinary!
Well, I need to find something else to do to kill another 90 minutes. I could/should shave my legs which are VERY hairy but I want to save that. It's soft and as soon as I shave it I know it's going to turn back into paint-bristle stubble. A giant shout-out to the lucky nurse who is going to put the surgical stockings on me, 'Yes, I do know I need to shave and I'm sorry you had to see them'.
The last thing I need to say is thank you. Thank you to the CBC Radio, the CTV, the Chronicle Herald, the Cape Breton Post, family and friends old and new. Thank you for helping to spread the message of hope that we can keep this disease from killing women by encouraging early diagnosis. Book your mammogram today. Keep the appointment. For all the women who wrote telling me they booked, I pray with all my heart you have clear results. Congrats to those who told me they received their negative results. For those who may receive less than good results, stay strong and don't let this break you down. If you have to take this journey, do it with your head held high. Pass the worry on to the universal energy so you can focus on taking one step at a time. Negativity breeds negativity. Don't let it invade you because the results of that are far worse than any cancer. Imagine every cancer cell in your body with a sly smirk on its face, rubbing it's hands together every time you think negatively. It's food and energy for them to grow. Don't feed the little bastards. Finally, stay away from negative people. People who need to vent/complain on a constant basis are poison. Put your hand in their face and tell them to stop poisoning your soul. Tell them to write that shit in a journal and then burn it.
I'm here for you if you need me. In case I die during surgery, which I won't, but if I do remember to BOOK YOUR MAMMOGRAMS...or prostate exam, or PAP test.
Cheers
Jeannie
DREAM: I was on a wagon journey with a Tribe of Indigenous people. My traveling partner was Shirley McLaine which was AWESOME. When the wagon stopped for the night a hut was assembled and it was entirely made of white shells. It was dome shaped. The small glowing fire inside lit up the shells and made them luminous. When I remarked on the beauty of the structure they explained that during prayer times when they called upon the spirits of their ancestors or other advising spirits, the dome shape allowed the spirits to travel the room and not get trapped in corners. They could slip out the door flap....the next bit I remember is getting up before dawn to continue our travel. Before we could leave we had to take a preventative elixir to ensure our good health. One tasted like balsam and the other tasted like berries. I expected them to be horrible but they weren't. My memory is fading already but I also remember it was a group of all women with the exception of one young man. He was uncomfortable being the only male traveler because he had to be alone more frequently. He had to sleep alone while the women slept communally. The leaders of the group, although mostly male, didn't play into this part of my dream. The young man was quite put-out and was trying to walk away from the group when I woke up. The only other bit I remember is looking at hand drawn maps of the area and fantasizing about being by the water. That was where we were headed. I will mention that I dream of water all the time....big water, not a glass of water or the bathtub. So, why did I tell you this? First, I am so damn hungry and thirsty I need to distract myself from eating and drinking. Second, I have surgery today and I can see a lot of parallels between my dream and not just the surgery but breast cancer itself. Maybe you can see them too.
So, I need to go to hospital for seven, surgery is at eight, recovery for one hour then back to day surgery for an hour. If all goes well I should be out of there by one in the afternoon. I have no procedures prior to surgery this time...no rides of shame wearing a styrofoam cup over my 'dome shaped, white, luminous-with-the-light-shining-on-it' breast. Wink, wink. Are you catching on. Mine even comes with the door flap! Isn't the mind totally extraordinary!
Well, I need to find something else to do to kill another 90 minutes. I could/should shave my legs which are VERY hairy but I want to save that. It's soft and as soon as I shave it I know it's going to turn back into paint-bristle stubble. A giant shout-out to the lucky nurse who is going to put the surgical stockings on me, 'Yes, I do know I need to shave and I'm sorry you had to see them'.
The last thing I need to say is thank you. Thank you to the CBC Radio, the CTV, the Chronicle Herald, the Cape Breton Post, family and friends old and new. Thank you for helping to spread the message of hope that we can keep this disease from killing women by encouraging early diagnosis. Book your mammogram today. Keep the appointment. For all the women who wrote telling me they booked, I pray with all my heart you have clear results. Congrats to those who told me they received their negative results. For those who may receive less than good results, stay strong and don't let this break you down. If you have to take this journey, do it with your head held high. Pass the worry on to the universal energy so you can focus on taking one step at a time. Negativity breeds negativity. Don't let it invade you because the results of that are far worse than any cancer. Imagine every cancer cell in your body with a sly smirk on its face, rubbing it's hands together every time you think negatively. It's food and energy for them to grow. Don't feed the little bastards. Finally, stay away from negative people. People who need to vent/complain on a constant basis are poison. Put your hand in their face and tell them to stop poisoning your soul. Tell them to write that shit in a journal and then burn it.
I'm here for you if you need me. In case I die during surgery, which I won't, but if I do remember to BOOK YOUR MAMMOGRAMS...or prostate exam, or PAP test.
Cheers
Jeannie
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